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My bulimia story (1 year by now)


(Austria)

Ive always been in a normal shape till I was approximately 13 years old. Then I started to eat more and more. Actually I cant really remember when it started it exactly or what it got caused by, my desire to food was just there. Still I didnt care that much cause being over/underweight has never been a big issue to me and I still wasn't "fat" by that time, just not in that skinny-little-girl-shape anymore. Suddenly my dad, who cares about the way people look A LOT, started telling me (offensively) that I should lose weight and that I was too chubby for his opinion. That was the time when food/looking good started becoming a huge topic in my life. I tried every diet I could imagine, most of them even pretty successfully. I lost weight again and had an average body. But still food was the thing all my thoughts were about, I thought about what I ate at what time and whether I'd gain weight through that and had the constant urge to lose more and more weight. Then, at the age of 15 I went abroad for an exchange year where I gained X kg! When I came back I really have to admit that I was fat ! Of course that was a tragedy for my father, he was insulting me all the time, telling me that he was ashamed of the way I looked. Thats when I started to throw up. A friend of mine told me about bulimia and I was like, why not try, I can stop anytime I want to. Two month after I had come back I had already lost Xkg again,what, apparantly was the unhealthiest thing I could harm to my body. one year passed since that and my weight is flucturating all the time. Im still never over- nor underweight but if i really have a bad time, i can gain or loose to X kg per week by bingeating or starving myself. Recently my hair is starting to fall out and my teeth get more sensitive. My parents found out some month ago and sent me to a therapist. It helps but still im having a hard time HELPING MYSELF..
I wanted to thank you so much for your blog, its the most supporting thing to read im not alone ! And excuse my english, its not my mothertongue so I might make a few mistakes. ;)
Im about to recover but its a really hard way! I hope I have the strength to keep going though. good luck y'all , I know we can do this!:))

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program