My Bulimia Relapse: Time to say it out loud
Hello! My name is Sarah. I am a university student studying nursing and Spanish. Eating disorders have been a part of my life since I was 12 and I am now 20. Eight years. Eight years that I have been in and out of hospitals and treatments. Now, I would say for about three of those years I have been nearly completely symptom-free. But lately, since about August, I have fallen back into bulimia. Badly. It hasn't been as much binging, as anorexia has always been the underlying issue. But I will let myself eat more than usual or things I wouldn't because I know I can throw them up. I have been blocking it out of my mind and pretending like it's not an eating disorder this time. But it finally hit me; I am throwing up twice a day, four times a week. I have an eating disorder.
I guess I'm not sure what step to take. The bulimia bloat is getting me right now; I have no clue how to to cope with it. I am terrified of what people will think. All I know is with my schedule, I don't have time for bulimia OR active recovery! I'm a very happy girl!! I don't need this stupid disease.
I think I decided to post this because I knew I needed to say out loud, once and for all, that I have an eating disorder. And that I am ready to be done with it. :)
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