My Bulimia Experiment... Which I don't recommend to anyone!
I knew that I was no longer bulimic as it had been over 3 years since I last threw up or had a major binge...
I thought if I let myself have one weekend when I threw up it would be interesting to see how it went... How I would feel... Would I would be repulsed by it?
I don't really know why I decided to do it... but I did. For one weekend I could eat sensibly, but I was allowed to throw up. Maybe I would even lose a little weight in this experiment.
So, Saturday morning came and I had a nice, but reasonably sized breakfast... eggs, toast and bacon. After eating it I slipped to the bathroom and threw it up. It came out quite easily.
I instantly felt guilty but though it's okay because I'm in control and it's just one weekend.
1/2 an hour later and I was in the fridge gobbling away again... Then in the bathroom throwing up.
I was a little freaked out, but knew come Monday and I would stop.
From that point on I ate like mad and threw up everything. I lied and made excuses about why I was eating so much... and ate when nobody was around.
Bulimia was back in it's full force and I was thrown out of control.
Monday came and I realized why I had worked so hard in my recovery... Bulimia SUCKS big time! The weekend had been hell and I was freaked out by how easily I slipped back into bulimic mode.
Luckily I was no longer reliant on food like I used to be - so switched back into non-bulimic mode easily...
But my little experiment did open my eyes to how easy a bulimia relapse could be... and made me even more aware how how I will never let that happen!
I hope my bulimia story has helped and I'd love to hear your comments and know if this has ever happened to you.
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community