[?] Subscribe To This Site

XML RSS
follow us in feedly
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Disclaimer

My Bulimia Experiment... Which I don't recommend to anyone!

by Anonymous

I knew that I was no longer bulimic as it had been over 3 years since I last threw up or had a major binge...

I thought if I let myself have one weekend when I threw up it would be interesting to see how it went... How I would feel... Would I would be repulsed by it?

I don't really know why I decided to do it... but I did. For one weekend I could eat sensibly, but I was allowed to throw up. Maybe I would even lose a little weight in this experiment.

So, Saturday morning came and I had a nice, but reasonably sized breakfast... eggs, toast and bacon. After eating it I slipped to the bathroom and threw it up. It came out quite easily.

I instantly felt guilty but though it's okay because I'm in control and it's just one weekend.

1/2 an hour later and I was in the fridge gobbling away again... Then in the bathroom throwing up.

I was a little freaked out, but knew come Monday and I would stop.

From that point on I ate like mad and threw up everything. I lied and made excuses about why I was eating so much... and ate when nobody was around.

Bulimia was back in it's full force and I was thrown out of control.

Monday came and I realized why I had worked so hard in my recovery... Bulimia SUCKS big time! The weekend had been hell and I was freaked out by how easily I slipped back into bulimic mode.

Luckily I was no longer reliant on food like I used to be - so switched back into non-bulimic mode easily...

But my little experiment did open my eyes to how easy a bulimia relapse could be... and made me even more aware how how I will never let that happen!

I hope my bulimia story has helped and I'd love to hear your comments and know if this has ever happened to you.

Comments for My Bulimia Experiment... Which I don't recommend to anyone!

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 20, 2011
You are so right!!
by: Sarah

I have had bulimia for 11 years now and I have started to realise what its doing to my body....My digestion has become so bad that I can't digest food and it will just sit in my stomach making me feel heavy and sick until I have to get rid of it by making myself sick. Only I can't do that anymore because I have very bad acid reflux along with pain in my stomach, trapped wind and constipation and all the rest that goes with it...it gets so painful that I have to be taken to a&e not to mention I tried to commit suicide when I was 18 and thats probably damaged my stomach too. Your right bulimia destroys everything, relationships, career, study, health, haappiness, self worth, confidence, self esteem.

Its been two weeks since I haven't made myself sick because I am taking medicines for my digestive problems. Previously I went a few weeks without making myself sick, but come the weekend or a special occasion I would say to myself just this once I will eat as much as I can and then purge it all out but I won't do it again, I would make a promise to myself that it would be the once only......but an hourr later I would eat and do it again, and again and again....The more you eat and purge the more hunger you feel and do it over and over.

As soon as I have emptied my stomach, I will walk back into the kitchen to have some water as making yourself sick makes you so thirsty afterwards only to end up eating something and then once i have eaten something i will feel guilty and eat more and then go and make myself sick. It tires you out so much...to the point where you are exhausted and don't have the energy to do anything.

I still haven't binged and made myself sick so fingers crossed, hopefully this digestive problem I have will make me realise that its not worth doing all of this only to end up even more sick when you are older!!!!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.

 

Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program

 

 

Not a member yet?

Start your recovery
today with Shaye's
online program

Learn more here.