My Bulimia Experiment... Which I don't recommend to anyone!
I knew that I was no longer bulimic as it had been over 3 years since I last threw up or had a major binge...
I thought if I let myself have one weekend when I threw up it would be interesting to see how it went... How I would feel... Would I would be repulsed by it?
I don't really know why I decided to do it... but I did. For one weekend I could eat sensibly, but I was allowed to throw up. Maybe I would even lose a little weight in this experiment.
So, Saturday morning came and I had a nice, but reasonably sized breakfast... eggs, toast and bacon. After eating it I slipped to the bathroom and threw it up. It came out quite easily.
I instantly felt guilty but though it's okay because I'm in control and it's just one weekend.
1/2 an hour later and I was in the fridge gobbling away again... Then in the bathroom throwing up.
I was a little freaked out, but knew come Monday and I would stop.
From that point on I ate like mad and threw up everything. I lied and made excuses about why I was eating so much... and ate when nobody was around.
Bulimia was back in it's full force and I was thrown out of control.
Monday came and I realized why I had worked so hard in my recovery... Bulimia SUCKS big time! The weekend had been hell and I was freaked out by how easily I slipped back into bulimic mode.
Luckily I was no longer reliant on food like I used to be - so switched back into non-bulimic mode easily...
But my little experiment did open my eyes to how easy a bulimia relapse could be... and made me even more aware how how I will never let that happen!
I hope my bulimia story has helped and I'd love to hear your comments and know if this has ever happened to you.
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community