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My Bulimia and Fight to Recover

by Ilona
(New York)

I'm 17 years old and i've been bulimic for about 3 and a half years. I lost a lot of weight through other means which im also not proud of but now im just addicted to food and i'm terrified to gain any kind of weight. My stomach has stretched, my mouth is constantly sore, i'm tired and depressed. I'm really trying to stop but for some reason i just cant get myself to commit. My family knows about my problems and especially my mom is worried sick. I hate hurting everyone i love because of something stupid like being unable to control myself. i REALLY REALLY REALLLY need someone who knows what this is like to give me some advice please on how to try to stop eating so much and trying to purge. Im terrified of going to the dentist because they already told me my teeth are bad and they're waiting for me to improve, which i havent considering im still purging. I CANT tell my mom that im still doing it becauseshe believess i stopped. I need help! can anyone give me advice to do this alone, maybe someone at least to talk to who knows what im going through....

what should i do? how do i stop?

and do i go to the dentist? he's one of those Russian doctors who's like a family friend. I'd be MORTIFIED to tell him I'm bulimic! It would be horrendous.. I've already heard the 'just stop' and the 'come on ur a great girl u can do this' i need something more for helpful. I need to and really want to do this myself. especially with college coming up. I want my life back! any advice? please! Thank you so much! :/

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Article by Shaye Boddington
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and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program