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My blues

by Mary
(Streamwood IL)

I am only allowed to be happy when the scale says that I can be. I told my husband that I am a laxative bulimiac two days ago. My kidney doctor can't figure out why my potassium levels are so dangerously low. I am killing myself to be thinner. I stopped taking laxatives, (X) exlax each night, two days ago. I weighed myself this morning and threw the scale against the wall. It yelled at me that I had gained (x) pounds in two days. Oh, by the way, I take a prescription water pill also. I gave this script to my husband for control, so that I take (x) a week instead of every day. I have no energy. I have aches and pains that aren't normal. I fear my kidneys are shutting down. If they are shot, it is due to laxative abuse.

I'm (60) years old! I wear a size (x) skinny jean. I'm 5'9. Today the scale said I weigh x lbs.

I have been taking laxatives for at least (10) years.

I have never made myself throw up, it so much easier taking laxatives. I eat normally. It is when I overindulge that I take my little blue pills and all that crap will be gone in the morning.
Literally!

I hate the way I look naked and getting older isn't helping. My once tight ass looks like the back of an African Elephant, you know saggy in the middle. My boobs that once sat so proudly high upon the chest of this girl now look like they belong to a Chimpanzee. My thighs sag downward to my knees and the flab around the middle, oh Jeez, it's disgusting!

I just saw the add a photo button, I'm afraid to because of annonimity. I don't want people making fun a me anymore. I have had a lifetime of that.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program