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My best friend ED

by Teigan Kelly
(Sydney, NSW, Australia)

Im now 21 and have been battling Eating disorders since the age of 15, as a young girl i always had low self esteem, even though i was a pretty girl, i was never big but hated myself so much. Alot of trauma happened to me in my high school years i couldnt cope with the outside world anymore so i turned to anorexia for help, after 4 years of starving myself all of a sudden my body could not cope with no food, i began to binge eat (no purging) i ate and ate and ate, i now realise that my body had been starved for so long it wanted all this food, i quickly gained 10kg in 3 weeks and felt absolutley out of control, hopeless and disgusted. I couldnt handle my body like this so i stared restricting again in a less intense matter for about 6 months, i started to purge after meals when i was 20 and thats where it got really ugly, i purged up almost everything i ate and went long periods of not eating. I couldnt handle the food in my stomach any more, a few months after doing that i was in the vicious binge purge cycle for about 10 months, ended up in hospital a few times with heart problems, and feeling absolutely crap all the time. i had to defer university because it was just getting too hard with the bulimia, i started an intensive treatment program for 3 months and helped me alot but i was still binging and purging every day, my weight got back up to a healthy weight, and now i am in a private hospital, i am 2 weeks purge free and feeling absolutely great. i know the battle is no where near won yet but I am not giving up ever!!! i never want to vomit again it is the worst habit to get into and the hardest to break. its not worth it at all, i feel so good at the moment healthy and radiant. i do still have thoughts of restriction sometimes but nothing like before i guess the worst will be once i get out. but i just want to say that recovery is absolutely possible and it is a slow hard process but u need to be dedicated, yes u will put on weight but u do not become obese like i thought i would, i am a healthy BMI of 23 and feel so good. i think the best bit of advice is to GET PROFESSIONAL HELP, if i didnt have all the people around me i could not have done this alone, doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, dietian they are all crucial to recovery, and never let your self get hungry eat 3 meals and 3 snacks every day. u will be amazed at the results of regular eating.
but yes if u think u have bulimia or are unsure if u have it or not, go to a doctor and get help as soon as you can. its a serious illness which needs intense treatment to fix,

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