My 501 Blues and Bulimia
Hello, when I was a child I was not allowed to wear jeans. Then, finally when I entered private catholic high school; I finally had my first, very own pair of jeans. This was the beginning of my battle with bulimia. I never realized before going blue jean shopping that I had any problem fitting into a certain type of pants. My body type required ,"Husky" corderoy's all throughout my elementary school years. Then in jn high school level, I was very buisy with student leadership, math tutoring for myself,homework, and roller skating and swim team workouts. I had a very busy tween developmental period. Finally when I got to private high school, just next door to my former private elementary school, they had an official,"Jeans Day." All students were to wear either their uniform or jeans. And, once a year all the ,"In" chicks had a chance to show off their Calvin's. Well, I realized during these formative years of fashion and ID development, that I wasn't shaped like most the other popular chicks in my private high school. So, I focused more on my sports and exercise routines, and eating nutritiously. By the time I was a 3rd year high school student, I had physically changed over the summer. When we lined up for picture day, one of the popular girls asked if I was new to their class. I began wearing contact lenses, and had a retail job where I worked physically very hard. Also from swimming and roller skating club over the summer, I had become quite well toned, had an awesome tan, and I finally let my hair down, and tightened up the grey chains on my appetite. I was in total control, or so I thought. I did very well that year in school. By the next year I was quite overwhelmed, and had way too much on my plate. I had chosen a very demanding senior year academic program, and was also involved in sports and still employed during my last year of high school. Towards the end of the year I had been stalked by a major psycho, while crossing the street-right in front of my very own school too. This really scared me, and they never did catch the weirdo either. Then, by the end of the year I was feeling depressed as I had to remain in my program of ROP career studies until September. My high school class graduated, and I walked with them; however I still had 3 full months left to complete Dental Assisting Training. I , for the first time, had to spend 8 hrs a day in a dental office. I had to shadow the BIG GIRLS around most of my days all summer long. Then, I learned about donuts,and ice cream for lunch in the REAL Whirled. I never tasted donuts for lunch before, they gave me such a rush that I actually felt stoned after eating such sweet delicacies, and yum ice cream too. I began craving these sweet snacks even when not in the dental office. I had began to eat more and more sweets, and on the weekends I found that I needed the extra energy for the long hours which i had to work in retail.I finally graduated from my Dental Training program but decided to enter college in lieu of going straight into the world of work in the dental field. In college I continued to work my retail job, and for the first time worked in the mall. This was fun, but somehow became very obscessed with fashion, and feeling too fat. Other ladies whom I worked with in my retail job were also interested in losing weight. On my first retail job in the mall I learned of Weight Watchers for weight loss. However, my second job at JC Penny's I learned about bulimia. There we had to dress a bit more fashionably too. I met a really cool chick who was my so called friend. She introduced me to ex-lax, and purging. I had only tried fasting,weight watchers, and slim fast prior to her fancy new method of really quick weight loss. The best part was that I was able to eat as much as I wanted , and my weight wasn't affected by my upgraded level of binging on meals, and desserts too. Then during a gymnastics class in college I was mounting the vault and was hit with terrifying chest pains. I collapsed to the ground before mounting up, and beep boarded backwards myself onto the mat. There I lay feeling confused and wondering ,"What the hell just happened?" Then I realized that I needed to lay off some of the carbs, and eat more veggies. I rose above the world of pigging out, and shitting myself into a state of collapse. I then met a bunch of very supportive friends my last year of college and got more involved in sports activities, and in completing my course of study. I no longer hung with the friend I met in my retail job, who 1st introduced me to bulimia. We all graduated, and went our own ways eventually. I chose to attend grad school. Then after graduating from grad school, I became a substitute teacher. I still worried about my weight but relied more on healthy eating, and exercise when not teaching. My life got worse in some ways, and then finally better. And now I'm over ALL that stuff, and have new responsibilities in life, and my career still to fall back on. So, life goes on, and so must I.