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The Mental Causes Of Bulimia... "PIG, PIG, PIG" I thought over and over again. "WORTHLESS"

For me (and most likely for you, too) the mental causes of bulimia came from deep inside my sub conscious mind... In an area of my brain that controlled my CORE BELIEFS...

Core beliefs are developed unconsciously when you're a kid... From people and experiences that take place in your life... Sometimes these core beliefs can be nurturing and life-enhancing... Other times they can be destructive and life-sucking...

Sometimes, they can be so life-sucking that they give birth to bulimia...

 

What Exactly Are Core Beliefs - And How Could They Be One Of The Mental Causes of Bulimia?

Core beliefs are basically your unwritten set of instructions on how to view the world - and how to live your life...

Everyone has multiple core beliefs... Some of them are positive and some of them are negative...

The positive core beliefs are beliefs that nurture your health and brighten your experience of life... A positive core belief would be something along the lines of...

"My family will love me no matter what" or "It is okay to seek help when I need it" or "I am a good person, despite slipping into bad behaviors from time to time"

Negative core beliefs, on the other hand, do not help at all... They are one of the most significant mental causes of bulimia because they give birth to those nagging voices in your head...

In fact, it is likely that it was your negative core beliefs that planted the seed of bulimia in your mind way back when!

You see... A negative core belief is like a filter...

If you look at the world through a red filter, everything looks different - not as it looks in reality...

It's exactly the same when you look at the world through the filter of a negative core belief ...

For example... When I was bulimic, one of my negative core beliefs was...

"I am a greedy PIG".

This horrible belief about myself filtered my experience of life...

 

A Memory I Have Where Negative Filtering Took Place...

I was 16 years old and competing in the World Junior Diving Championships in Aachen, Germany.

I had just finished my competition - and I had messed up big time... I was coming 3rd - which was a fantastic achievement... But, on my last dive (which was normally my best one!) nerves got the best of me... And, I actually did the wrong dive! That meant I got a total score of ZERO for that round - taking my final position down to 15...

I was devastated and, being bulimic, I decided to commiserate by bingeing and purging on a giant magnum ice cream (or 2, or 3)

My team mate Kaitlyn (who had achieved an excellent result that day) and I went to the store and were about to buy our ice creams... When our team manager came up to me and told me I wasn't allowed one due to my days results. So Kaitlyn bought her ice cream and I, blushing bright red, put mine back.

I was devastated and went for a long shower where I cried and cried and cried. I remember screaming at myself saying that the team manager was right for denying me the ice cream - after all, I was a worthless pig... I'd just throw it up anyway.

'PIG - PIG - PIG' I thought over and over again. 'I'm a WORTHLESS Pig.'

Can you see how my irrational belief filtered my experience?

Now that I have recovered, I think 'Gee, what a bit*h for not letting my have the ice cream!' I think the team manager was completely off sides - and being totally insensitive and unfair...

But, back then I thought I was a worthless pig.

I cringe at how my irrational beliefs made me so cruel to myself!

 

Irrational beliefs Help To MAINTAIN Your Bulimia...

Irrational beliefs are definitely one of the primary mental causes of bulimia... But, it doesn't stop there... They are also one of the key tools for maintaining bulimia...

How can you hope for bulimia recovery if you accuse yourself of being worthless, useless, fat, ugly and so on?

That's like a marathon runner taking the most mountainous, difficult and dangerous route to the finish line.

 

NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS CAN BE CHANGED! Here's a simplified process on how to achieve it...

 

Step 1: Identify your negative core beliefs...

How do you do this? Think deeply your unwritten rules of life... Try to think about beliefs that may be the mental cuases of your bulimia... When an idea comes along, write it down, think about it... Read it, re-read it...

When something makes you go 'A-ha!' there's a good chance that you've identified a core belief...

To help you along, I've written out a list of common core beliefs amongst bulimics... Do any of them make you go "A-HA!" ?

 

Step 2: Catch Your Negative Core Beliefs When You Hear Them Talking

You know those 'voices' that run through your head...

The type that make your heart sink, make your eyes well with tears and make your anger and frustration flair...

The voices that make you feel plain old nasty...?

Those voices are your Negative Core Beliefs talking.

They might disguise themselves, dress up in clothes to make them unrecognizable... They might try mimic rational thought... BUT, they're not! Catch these masqueraders of the truth... As soon as you hear any negative self talk... CATCH IT... Trace it back... Ask yourself...

Which negative core belief is this coming from?

Once you identify it... Challenge it! Slam it back with a statement that is more positive or even neutral...

For example, When I had the voices in my head saying...

"My team manager was right for denying me the ice cream - after all, I was a worthless pig... I'd just throw it up anyway"

I could have grabbed the opportunity to catch that thought, trace it back to my core belief of "I'm a greedy pig" and then challenge it by saying....

"Although I am suffering from bulimia, I am not a pig... I am a great girl and I am WORTHY of being treated with respect"

and "I am working on becoming a normal eater, I will be kind and patient with myself"

 

Step 3: Kindness and Persistence...

Remember how I was talking about the marathon runner before...? Well, this step goes back to that marathon runner...

A marathon runner wouldn't get far if, when she become tired, she yelled "You useless piece of **** - I knew you'de fail!"

and, she wouldn't get far if she gave up.

Just as a marathon runner needs to practice kindness and persistence, so do you.

You can't go to the super-market and buy new core beliefs over the counter. Your only option is to work at them... With kindness and persistence.

 

Now Move From Insight to Action!

Reflecting on what I've written isn't enough... You need to take ACTION! For the next 2 weeks, try take action by challenging some of your negative core beliefs using the steps above...

A helpful tip is to carry a little pocket note pad around with you... Whenever you catch those voices, trace them back, identify your belief, challenge it and write it all down.

Remember, your negative core beliefs are significant mental causes of bulimia... They need to be challenged and brought down... So, when you're feeling bad... Put it on the pad!

 

 

Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program