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Love yourself precious one - because love is the greatest power in this universe... A power that is capable of healing your bulimia!
Love is within you - but it's being smothered over by self cruelty.
Cruelty that keeps you trapped... bound in the darkness of bulimia.
I used to spend my days in this place too...
Fooled by the lie that cruelty would cure my bulimia. Blinded by the myth that all I needed was 'more self control'.
Words of criticism only ever made my bulimia spiral into a deeper and darker place... Criticism and cruelty never did a positive thing for me. And I can guarantee that they will never do a positive thing for you!
The lie of "Tough Love" in bulimia recovery is the #1 biggest mistake that women with bulimia make. The lie that cruelty will help them gain control over their eating disorder... This lie is dangerous. To learn more about it, click here. There is no such thing as a cruel route to recovery - only a route of love, kindness, forgiveness and compassion.
My own self cruelty always sat on my shoulder, keeping me 'in line'. It would call me horrid names - things I would not call a criminal. Self cruelty would constantly tell me...
But there is only so long that you can put up with all those unkind voices and rules... Eventually I fought back.
In response to all those unkind "Shouldnt's" I yelled "I SHALL and I WILL!"
And for me (and so many others) that came in the form of binge eating...
And so I ate... Lord, did I eat!
I would binge my way into oblivion, stuffing all the unkind voices out of mind. For a few moments, while I was binge eating, the world was quiet. I'd feel better, because I would not feel at all.
But post-binge, when I came back to 'reality'... things were always so much worse. That self cruelty was there - waiting for me, with a smirk on it's face and cruel voices coming from it's lips...
"No self control!"
And that cruel voice would say...
"You're nothing if you’re fat. You have nothing going for you besides your body."
And so that cruel voice would guide me to the toilet, where I’d bend over and purge... Because according to that voice - If I wasn't thin, I was nothing.
Self cruelty is always successful at putting fuel on the hellish fires of bulimia.
Self love on the other hand, does the complete opposite...
Imagine you are a young child, coming home to your parents to show your failed math exam...
They can respond one of two ways...
The first response will stifle you in fear and shame. It'll put you off ever trying again because the penalties for failure are just too great. Better not to try than to try and slip up. This response leads you to think that you are a failure in general.
The second response invites an opportunity to try again in an environment that is supportive and loving... An environment that will be there for you, to help you through it all. It invites learning from past slip ups and building on them. It invites growth towards joy and happiness.
Self love works in the same way as the second response...
Self Love invites personal growth, it invites learning from past mistakes, it invites the opportunity to keep on trying until you succeed!
When you love yourself, you'll be able to pick yourself up through the trials and errors of recovery... You'll be able to keep on going until you are completely free.
When I talk to the women in The Bulimia Recovery Program's Community about self love, many of them find the idea weird at first. One lady even described it once as 'uncomfortable'.
Society sometimes makes us feel guilty about the idea of self love... That to love yourself is narcissistic or indulgent. This is not true at all. There is nothing more natural and beautiful than self love and kindness...
When we open our hearts to our own love - we are able to be so much more receptive and giving of love to others.
To love yourself is a beautiful thing, and it will add vast amounts of joy and freedom into your life...
Below are articles and videos with tips and exercises on how to love yourself unconditionally. Read them, practice the advice - and allow your life to transform :)
Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community