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Light at the end

by Ally
(New Zealand)

I am so happy because I feel like at last I am nearing recovery.

My bulimia began with me wanting to lose weight. It all happened really fast, because within just a couple of months I was binging and purging multiple times a day. It kept increasing, and after fainting several times, I was scared for my health so I spoke to my doctor.

I knew I had to recover, but I was so not done with my eating disorder. I wanted to lose more weight. Several months later, I did lose more weight, and I was told I now had binge purge anorexia. I was forced to take sick leave, and if I did not get better it would be hospital.

I realised for the first time that actually all I was doing by holding onto my eating disorder was slowly killing myself. All my dreams and everything I wanted out of life was put on hold, and I was achieving nothing. I was no longer getting comments about how great my weight loss was, instead people were assuming I was sick .

It was so hard, but I decided to let go. I thought I would give 'eating' a go, and I knew that if I gained weight, at least I know I could lose it. Best decision I ever made.

I know I am still not quite fully recovered, because whenever I let myself think I am, I slip up. But I am definitely close, and really do feel like I can make it.

Thank you so much Shaye for all of your tips. I love this website - it is amazing. I reckon the best tip is to just not restrict. When I was restricting, I always felt like eating whatever was in site. Now, I relise I do not actually want that entire packet of tim tams. I never thought I would feel that way.

Also, I tell myself when I feel myself slipping into my bulimic ways that I am not that person anymore. I know in my heart that I am much better then to steal or lie, so i tell myself that if I feel like I m going to do those things for bulimia. I also ask 'how will I feel afterwards'. It really helps.

Thanks so much again. Good luck to anyone recovering - just remember that there is so much more to life then how much you weigh :)

Shaye Says

Thank you for sharing your beautiful bulimia recovery journey with us Ally! Keep moving forward with love and kindness precious girl - and a life of freedom is yours for the taking!


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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program