letting go of bulimia
I'm writing my story in case it helps anyone going through the same thing.
I got the condition when I was a teenager along with anorexia. I did it to control my weight. I was overweight and hated it. I felt disgusted with the way I looked and felt. I was ignorant to malnutrition and simply cut out 'bad foods'. This initially worked. After that I moved on to throwing up the bad foods I ate.
The whole experience was hell. Now in my twenties I occasionally throw up, perhaps once a week, from the previous daily routine.
The day I decided to stop was when I got caught throwing up. Instead of the person scalding me or trying to help me they simply ignored it was happening. This made me realize just how cruel life is.
Everyone is out for themselves and they have no empathy. I thought about this for a while and decided I would never be in that position again.
We put ourselves in bad situations and only we can take ourselves out of them. Prove to the world you're strong by proving it to yourselves.
Now I eat what I like, which is normal food. I train and exercise regularly to keep in shape. When I eat 'bad' foods I take the responsibility of my actions and work off the calories or balance out my meals.
Bulimia occurs when we lose control of our emotions as opposed to actions. If you're young and have this condition, try to channel your emotions into friends, family, sport, eduction etc. Anything constructive. Try to get better grades, study nutrition, get on an athletic team, impress a girl. Anything that exhausts you or takes up your time or energy. After a few years you'll achieve something.
I now have my own business, am in university, and will be getting married soon.
I still overeat and gain weight sometimes but I always train it off or turn it into muscle.
I could go into detail about the disgusting pathetic things I did in the past as a bulimic, but what's the point? We went through the same thing so you know how it feels. The past can't be changed only the future can.
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