Let the bloating begin
I have been a bulimic for 14 years. I can hardly believe I have wasted over a decade of my life in this relationship with Ed (eating disorder). Well I am ready to breakup, Ed was never really committed and his awful abuse has gone on for long enough.
Back in my sophomore year of high school I was committed to an eating disorder clinic. It was the worst mistake. Not only was I not ready to go into recovery but I was in recovery with anorexics and very competitive bulimics. If anything I was triggered on a daily basis. I believed recovery was never possible. I never felt so alone and such a sense of desperation as I did at that time in my life. There is a lot more to the story but today I am here to beat this.
I have been in recovery for a week in a half now. I know it's very early but everyday that I survive without binging and purging is a triumph. Right now I take it day by day. I am so beyond grateful for having found this site.
In the past recovery was so difficult because I could not get past the bloating. I started taking probiotic's after reading about them here and they really do help so much. Not to mention those awesome baby doll dresses :).
I have been alone in this for so long. This is the first time I have ever come out and spoken about it. I am taking it day by day and remind myself that this to shall pass. The bloating is temporary and I know I have the strength to survive this. I was just married 7 months ago and now we are talking about having a baby.
I know I am not ready to get pregnant. For me, I need a year free of bulimia, that's my goal before we start trying. Creating a life is the most selfless act in my eyes. I want a healthy baby but first I want a healthy me.
Thank you for listening...let the journey continue.
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