Katies Bulimia Questions
its Katie you had wrote back to me on my queries I sent you yesterday... Firstly I just wanna say how happy I am to have you here. I know i don't know you but some how you seem like a friend already. I'm gunna follow all you said and if it's ok with you can I keep you updated if i'm having troubles?
Just knowing your there is a help already as i have no one to talk to. I left out two things i wanted to ask i wondered if you can help...
I see that you had a boyfriend and he was'nt aware of you're bulimia at first.. Well I have a similar issue he did'nt know until 8 months ago about my illness until I had to tell him as you know the pressure gets to much to keep hiding. As iv'e had 2 hospital stays now he found me one time collapsed on my bathroom floor and had to call an ambulance so i scared the life out of him and it haunts him til this day. He made me promise I'd stop so I agreeded thinking i would and could and now its still happening everyday and he thinks it's only happening once a week as i tell him i had an off day where i could'nt control myself...
I'm scared he'll leave me if he knows i can't tell him so i need to get a grip on this now do you think i'm doing the right thing? Also based on the history I told you about i.e i dont take diuretics anymore or laxatives' I get my blood cheked once a fortnight and am on pottasium medication where i'm sick so much i'm scared of something happening to me do you think theres anything more I can be doing to help my health? I don't wanna have a heart attack that scares the life out of me.
And sorry to go on but the last question is im spending £35 a day on food it's wiping my bank account out please help I must have spent thousands so far I can't stop!
Thanks shaye i'm so glad to have you here and this website has done more for me than any counsellor so far.
Love katie xx
I just got a tear in my eye when you said this website has done more for you than any counsellor... I am so happy that my experience is able to help people... It makes it all worth while!
I know what you mean when you say you feel like a friend... I feel that way about you - and many others who have written to me on my site... You see, deep down all bulimics have the same loving and caring soul... We're wonderful people... we just have a big challenge to overcome...
Don't worry about all the questions - I'm happy to answer them - as best I can :)
Firstly, about your boyfriend... I think you've done the right thing telling him you're still suffering... Perhaps you can be a little more honest and tell him you're having a hard time trying not to do it each day... Explain to him that it's an addiction and takes time to beat (even direct him to this site if he needs to gain a clearer understanding) You don't need to go into all the details with him - I never did with Tom. He knew - and that was enough. I didn't have to tell him I throw up x times a day and my favorite food is ice cream cos it slides out the easiest...!!! I just needed him there to hug me and love me.
That must have been terrifying for your boyfriend to find you unconscious... so i can understand that he asked you to promise... But, sometimes people don't understand that when it comes to addiction - a promise is just a word.
In terms of what else you can do for your health... Well... You're doing a lot more than I did (and I never had a heart attack!) BUT, everyone is different... It sounds like you should be safe - but the only way to guarantee it is to recover... So, don't freak out about it (stress is the worst thing you can do for your health - and for your recovery!) but just slowly chip away at the little goals that will lead to your recovery...
Like the one I mentioned before about distracting yourself for 5 minutes everytime you want to binge... :)
Also... Try to have a nutritious smoothie each morning, full of berries, banans and dates... This will really help give your body a kick of nutrients that it needs to recover.
Trust me - I understand exactly where you're coming from saying that bulimia wipes the bank account! It can be devestating! In my first year of uni I spend over $20,000 at the caffetria! Luckily I didn't go into debt because i started selling my artwork for quite good money... But there wasn't a cent left over after my binges!
This is a difficult problem to overcome unless you recover... But again, try to use the distraction technique... Want to buy that chocolate in the store..? Wait 5 minutes, listen to some great music, call a friend, do whatever you need to do to get your mind off it... If you still really want it later - then buy it... But, try to wait an hour or two after that before you eat again.
One thing I learnt in bulimia recovery is that depriving yourself of food makes things worse... That doesn't mean that you can eat as much as you want... but it does mean that you should try to eat 3 planned meals a day and 3 planned snacks everyday. That way your body knows that food is coming... And, if you feel like binging, you can tell yourself... just breate, smile, relax... there's only x amount of time until my next meal.... It seems to make it easier to get through the time without binging...
Hope this helps Katie! Don't forget how well you're doing... You have made some great progress already and I hope you're excited about the progress I know you'll make in the future :)
I'm off to bed now - it's 11pm here in New Zealand!
Stay strong and don't forget to smile every chance you get! :)
P.S. I would love to create a little part on my site called 'Katies Bulimia Recovery Journal' - for you to blog on - write down all your feelings/concers/challenges/triumps etc... And, I'd comment/answer any questions that you have... Let me know if you'de be interested in this! I found writing it out really helped me during recovery - and I'm sure it will help you too...