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Just Stop Throwing Up

I am 20 years old, and have had bulimia for almost a year now. I hate myself for this. It all started when I was 18 years old I weighed X at my heaviest. I decided to join a gym. Within a year I weighed X. I had lost X pounds. I had done it the healthy way. Watching what I was eating and exercising everday. It got to the point where I plateued and l started to eat unhealthy again. I was still going to workout which made me feel guilty. I was working out for 2 hours a day and I would eat all the calories I just burned in one meal. I had kept my bulimia a secret. I have got really good at it. I run the water from the sink so nobody can hear me. I always make sure there is an air freshner or perfume in the bathroom. I would pretend to take a shower so I could first throw up then take a shower. I know exactly how long to wait so I can throw up the most food at a time. I hate that I know all these tricks. I finally got the courage to tell someone. I just told my boyfriend of 5 years 3 days ago. He isn't as helpful as thought he would be. He just said, "stop throwing up". Like it is actually that easy. He doesn't get me and what I am going through. I nobody to talk to. I have to keep it all in and one day I hope I will be able to stop.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program