IT Matters Why....or does it?!!!
by Denise Wiegand
There were days that would go by where I would binge and purge 6 to 7 times. Now if the temptation occurs, I couldn't even if I tried. Luck have it I was struck with horrible heartburn...yes that is what did it for me, heartburn. I didn't have the desire to stop, I had no choice, but once I did a whole new world opened up for me; Some good and some bad.
It's been 3 years since I have consistently binged and purged and I'm a completely different person from that. I humble myself every day, all X extra pounds. Being a 5ft 10inch woman with a lengthy structure, I weigh in well over X now. It's taken me the entire three years (shamefully) to admit, there are worse things in life than not being able to easily CONTROL your weight.
Now I live with stomach problems, joint pain, early menopause, hypothyroidism and vertigo....not really sure if that's related but I have a pretty good idea. Hey, I'll take those symptoms any day over death. I was on a path of a very painful, and hurtful demise and I thank God every day that I have a low tolerance for heartburn.
My road to health may be a long one, but after 20years of abuse to my poor body I can expect nothing less.
I'm in therapy and seeking medical attention. I may have to be on disability due to my symptoms: Not a day goes by where I don't suffer some sort of ailment and I'm happy to do so.
I have two beautiful children, a wonderful husband who took the brunt of my denial and abuse for resenting and blaming his stress for my weight gain, after all, who was I kidding.
All and all, I'm just happy to be alive!
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