Is this really what I've become?
Reading these stories more and more are making me legit cry my eyes out right now. To finally realise I'm the same as ALL of u.
This morning I was X pounds and now tonight I went back up to X. All that hard work for nothing. I can't keep doing this. I eat I'm disappointed, I don't eat I'm starving. WHY is this my life now!? I remember the days wen I'd tell people " I love my skinny body. I got the genes from my dad." now all I can say for myself is that I need to throw my food up to stay perfect.
I'm still deciding weather or not I want to throw up today. It's been so long. I was almost proud of myself for a minute.
Shaye I read ur words of wisdom and I cry some more. I've written so many times on here I just love ur responses. I wish we were school friends so u could help me some more...
I feel if u came to jersey and helped me I wouldn't need to binge and purge anymore. U are better than any therapist out there. I would pay u to just sit with me for hours and hours talking. I feel so close to u even tho we have never met. Shaye I don't know what I'd do without u and ur website!
I'm going to try to stay strong for u!
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