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Is it a good sign? Not so focused on bulimia recovery...

by Ji

Hi Shaye,

I am a little confused. It is almost a month binge purge free with 3 or 4 single slip ups. I binge/purged 2 days ago, but I found out I was almost normal, coz I felt sick the next day and no urges to b/p, like a normal person would react-if they threw up the night before... They would feel bad the next day and would not want to do it again. I got very nervous because of uni today and I thought if b/p came, but I just thought that it would make me feel worse and will not help me at all. The thing I am not sure of is that I am not so focused on recovery anymore. I make sure it is going well, but I focus on other aspects in my life. Also, before I was day and night writing blogs and comments, and now I am not so interested in reading or writing there.

Is this normal?

Thanks for everything again!

xx

Shaye Says

Hi Ji,

It's natural for the motivation to actively work on bulimia recovery to ebb and flow.. To come and go... After all, it can feel like a lot of work...

It's important to realise that this is just part of the recovery process...

You have had a great month with only 3 or 4 slips - and this is definitely a sign that you're getting stronger. if I were you, I'd try to keep up the structured eating until your binge/purge urges are mostly gone... even completely gone. If it begins to feel too rigid... You can always make it a bit more flexible... Eg... stop planning what you are going to eat, and just keep the timing of the structured eating in place...

Don't force yourself to write blogs/comments etc... Just do it when you feel it will be helpful to you.

It's great that you're also focusing on other aspects of your life... This is part of the journey... Just try to split your focus between recovery and all those other things and you'll continue to make great progress...

Bye for now Ji!

Shaye

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Is it a good sign? Not so focused on bulimia recovery...

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Re: focus or lack of
by: Val

Hi Ji,
I'm over 2 months in recovery, and I feel exactly the same as you. I also did have a few slip ups and really notice how awful physically they made me feel afterwards - even more now than when I was actively bulimic.
Also, I am more tolerant of myself and forgiving when I do slip up, It's just - I don't know how to explain it, maybe not such a strong pull as it used to be.
I am so busy with other things as well and not thinking so much now as recovery as my #1 goal. I've been working on other goals and deadlines and that is taking up some of my time.
Good job Ji, just because your focus is changing doesn't mean that your recovery is not going well. I don't think I'd want to focus on recovering 24/7 for the rest of my life either! There is so much else to live for other than punishing yourself for a piece of chocolate or a pound weight gain.
Sometimes I do feel like I have to pull back and think about how I used to be about 3 months ago and where I am now just to keep things in perspective.
I do check Shaye's site here every once in a while and when I read your story - I thought, "Hey, that's exactly how I'm feeling - Wow!"
Take care.
Val.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

Is it a good sign? Not so focused on bulimia recovery...

Shaye Says

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Is it a good sign? Not so focused on bulimia recovery...