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by Mikayla
(B.C. Canada)

Hello, my names Mikayla. I developed Anorexia three years ago at the age of 15. I spent six weeks in hospital for medical reasons and was then transferred to a residential treatment center for eating disorders. I spent three and a half months there, gaining weight. The program was intense but for me, it was one of the worst things that I've experienced. Before entering treatment, i had never in my life binged or purged. During my stay there i began feeling the intense, uncontrollable hunger that so often accompanies Anorexia recovery. I would go on my designated 15 minute passes to walk around and explore the hospital, but instead I made a beeline straight for the cafeteria or the coffee shop on the property. My usual order was a large hot chocolate, which for a freshly recovering Anorexic, was an INCREDIBLE indulgence. Id drink that down, fast. Then puke it up, fast. As i progressed in program, i was granted longer and longer passes, overnight, two, three, four days at a time. Four days of non stop eating. Sometimes puking, sometimes not. I managed to 'gain eight pounds' in three days. Looking back, i can see that this was in no way, all fat gain. The doctors in the program were impressed however. I was discharged much earlier than I probably should have been. The following months are hard to remember. Bingeing and purging totally took over every waking moment of my life. Its been two years now. I'm done with this black and empty excuse of a life that I've been in for too long. I'm done with the hospitals and the scales, the food, the shame and the depression. I am in line for a bed at a different residential treatment center right now. Early July will be when I have to make the final decision to go or not. I am going to do absolutely EVERYTHING in my power to beat this disease and stay out of treatment!! I feel like its real this time.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program