I'm 16 years old, and I've been bulimic for about a year now. It started because I just wanted to lose weight but I managed to recover myself after realising how stupid I was being.
But, when my Grandad died, I started again and more seriously. At around Christmas, I told my best friend. She was sad for me and said she would do what she could to help me. About a month later, things were very different. It was getting worse and I was getting depressed. I couldn't eat anything or do anything without thinking about how disgusting and fat I was. It was horrible and I was out for a meal with my friends when I had to go to the toilet and throw it all up. My best friend realised and that night she called my mum to tell her what had been happening. I wasn't annoyed at all and for a while things got better. I was on a new diet and I began to exercise so I didn't throw up as much. But then things got worse. I had lost a lot of weight which was good but I was running for an hour a day. I couldn't stop and I realised that I was still having problems if I couldn't eat anything unless I went for an hour long run straight after. My mum took me to the doctors and just recently I've got my referral.
The problem is, everyone is saying how skinny I am and how good my figure is now and I love my figure as it is at the moment. I'm worried that if I stop being bulimic, I'm going to gain weight and I don't want that- my prom is in a months time, I want to look my best. Recently I've been throwing up three times a day on average and I just don't know what to do.
Help me please, I'm a smart person and I know I'm slowly destroying my body but I just can't bare putting on weight and I just want to be normal. Eating has taken over my life,dieting is all I think about and I just want to be happy.
I am 5ft5, X pounds.
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