I want to stop more than ever but feel I cant!
by john P.
(federal way, wa USA)
My name is John and I've been suffering from bulimia for about 4 years now. The last 2 years its become really really bad. My mom found out I was doing it so when I told her I stopped I had to start hiding it.
I've come up with just down right nasty humiliating ways of hiding how and when I do it. I keep empty milk jugs and soda cans in my room to fill up so my mom doesn't find out...
I'm so disgusted with myself and I just don't know how to stop this! I throw up numerous times a day and I just don't stop eating. I notice what it's doing to my body but I just blame it on other stuff. I can tell my heart beats irregularly quite often and I have acid hurting my throat several times a day.
I just sit there and tell myself Ill stop in time, I wont turn out like the other people. But, tonight after binging and then purging my throat was really sore. So I looked up on google if you could die from bulimia and I almost cried when I saw everything that is going to happen if I don't stop.
I don't know how cause I don't want to gain anymore weight, what do I do?
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