I really don't know how to eat
I came to the conclusion that my throwing up and re-eating is because of I'm a perfectionist... My appearance, academic level and relationship is the biggest factor...
Appearance... Yes, it means I don't want to become fat and I actually so want to get "healthy" slim but I really don't know how to eat and exercise... What should I do?
It's like I really want to be healed but I'm adapting a life style of "pro bulimia" everything eer so delicately balanced at the moment...
Hi there Jina,
Learning how to eat properly and exercise for health (not calorie burning) are some of the most challenging, but exciting, parts of bulimia recovery. If you can master these two things, you will be very far alone the recovery road...
The first thing that you need to accept is that bulimia will not help your appearance. You need to remind yourself that bulimia has no benefits and it only takes, takes takes! Yes, it may help you to maintain weight (although it can also often make people gain weight!) but it will make your face puffy, your teeth rotten and your stomach bloated. It will also make you age really badly - dry, wrinkly skin, brittle and thin hair... Because you would have lived so long on such low nutrient levels.
To begin your recovery journey, you need to try and believe that bulimia does more harm to your appearance than good. And, bulimia does more harm to your life overall than good. If you are feeling 'pro-bulimia' it will be very difficult to recover. You need to really want to recover before it will be possible. Even if you say I will try bulimia recovery for 1 year... If I decide I don't like it I can always go back to having my eating disorder...
Remembering how to eat again can be tricky... Your bodys natural voice telling you when you're hungry, full and satisfied has been thrown off quite a bit! You need to train it back...
You start doing this by eating 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day. You need to plan them out carefully the night before and then do your very best to stick to them... Even if you don't feel hungry. If you find yourself feeling very hungry, you can eat a small amount more, then relax for 10 minutes and try to feel the levels of food in your tummy... While you're eating always focus on your stomach and if you're hungry, satisfied, getting full and so on... As you learnt to listen to these signals again, you'll gradually remember how to eat naturally.
It's important to eat protein and fats in each meal - as it makes you feel more 'satisfied'. If you just eat fruit, chances are you'll feel like you want to keep eating and even binge.
It's a tricky road learning how to eat naturally again - but it can be done... It takes a lot of perseverance and desire though... How badly do you want a life without bulimia?
I know you can do it!
Keep in touch!
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