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I only recognize myself as The Bulimic, nothing else :(

by Bee
(Melbourne, Australia)

I'm 29 years old now, but I was 21 when I was diagnosed with Anorexia an illness I never knew existed. After my parents separation & having difficulty adjusting to the new country my family had migrated to, I started having panic attacks and from there everything went terribly bad for me. I first realized I can throw up the food I ate at a friend's place after eating a delicious fatty dinner. I'd felt so guilty & so worried I'd put on weight, I rushed to the toilet & tried to get it all out. It was surprisingly easy. That was the darkest most elaborate day of my life.
From then on I'd eat 1 apple a day, go to work and slave away, come home & make myself a big dinner & purg afterwards.
Its been 8 years now and although I recovered from Anorexia without seeking professional help, only when my family threaten to disown me, after I put on the weight I freaked out and started throwing up my food again. I go to gym and walk all the time, but I can no longer be skinny and that makes me eat & purge even more. I feel out of control and I feel the need to control my weight.
My health has deterorated; rotten teeth, heart murmur, swollen glands, mood swings, food allergies.... Ou name it ive experienced it. I lost my only boyfriend because of my weird eating habits and mood swings, and I've been unable to commit to any guy since. It's been too long

I really want to stop and be normal & healthy.
What did you guys do to fully recover?! Please share yor tips with me, I'd really appreciate it

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program