I just want to escape this feeling of being trapped.
(New York )
My name's Morgan, I never dreamed this would be me, that I'd be the girl asking for help and advice to my disorder. I started when I was in 8th grade I'm now a junior in high school. This boy I didn't know called me fat, and no one ever liked me, I had girlfriends but boyfriends were unheard of. I lost the weight, and am now so sick and angry at myself for this. I've had a boyfriend who I love dearly but can't stand the fact of him knowing? What about my friends, or most importantly my family? My reason: I don't want to gain the weight.. but I feel like every time I Throw up, I've become so used to it that I trick myself into thinking its okay and eventually I'll stop. I haven't since, I have irregular periods, dizziness, and massive headaches when I do throw up i throw up blood as well. It never used to until recently. I have been having massive headaches and my head is spinning It gets so bad. I want to tell my family but I'm so scared of what they will think/say. I cant do this to myself anymore, I want to beat this and almost every night I pray I'll become healthy again. I need your advice as a reader, and most importantly your support to help me fight this battle. No matter what, I'm ready for this fight.
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