I just dont know :\
Ok so my parents broke up around a year and a half ago and i got really depressed and about a year ago i lost my appetite and i started only eating 3 pb and j sandwiches a day(1 every 3-4 hours) and drank only diet pepsi because its just my favorite pop.. i wasn't aware that i was becoming anorexic because i wasn't feeling hunger and never thought about it its just the sandwiches were the only thing i could bring myself to eat.. Well i dropped around X pounds in 1 month and i started looking really good i got a girlfriend and everyone was complimenting how good i looked.. But after awhile my appetite started coming back and when i ate it hurt my stomach and it made me feel like i would gain weight if i ate anything besides the sandwiches.. So one day about a month or 2 after this all started i binged hardcore and i felt so bad afterwards and that's when my bulimia started.. Well i went on to have bulimia for 11 months now but i just cant do it anymore i never meant for any of this and it just breaks my heart because i was really depressed because i was chubby before all this than i lost the weight and all of a sudden i became glamorous in others eyes, well just goes to show how shallow most people are because on the inside im the exact same person i was.. Well its been a year since all of this started and im in recovery and have been for around a month now and it feels like the weights only affecting my tummy but i dont feel like ive gained that much weight yet im so scared that i will still gain alot of weight throughtout my recovery because i dont know when ill be better again.. Could it have been puberty that made me skinny instead of all this because i was just chubby before and i lost so much weight so fast that it just scared me and i was 17 when i started and im 18 now .. But im just gonna keep myself strong and hope and pray that my girlfriend will still love me for the person i am and not how i look anyways thanks i just needed to vent please respond, its just nice to talk ya know :) Thanks again Jordan
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