I hate this bulimia
I hate this... Why did I even start all this? It's killing me... I'm losing everything I once had... I can't love someone back because of this... My mom is loosing hope... My psychiatrist doesn't know I haven't quit... I had to quit school to escape this pain... I've lost all my friends... I can't go out in public because I'm fat... I haven't had a relationship for a while because of this... When I was in school I would be called names skinny bitch or fat ass cause they knew they would hurt me that way and they new just that was my biggest fear... Because of this bullying about my addiction I got paranoid... I'm scared to go back to a school and be bothered by people... I stop for two months and fall again... I just want to be perfect... I know all the risks and dangers and it still wont make me stop... I hate this so much it made fall in depression, anxiety and OCD... I just don't want too hide in the dark anymore... But this bulimic mind has taken over me! I hate hearing that voice calling me to the toilet when I'm done eating... I hate calculating every step... I hate taking diet things... When I started I promised myself I would never go that far...
My hair is falling out, my eye vessels have popped, my nails are yellow and are disapearing...
What happened to that person I once was before all of this?
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