I hate ED
I've suffered an eating disorder from the age of 11 and have only admitted in the last six months that I have a serious problem...
I went from binge/purging to starving myself, to eating then training until I literally can't stop anymore, I most recently went through a stage of relying on laxatives and having colonic treatments and now I am uncontrollably binge eating.
I am becoming more and more depressed and can not see any light at the end of the tunnel. I have been referred to a CBT which is due to start in a few weeks, I take 60mg of Fluxotine daily and go to a personal trainer to be pushed as hard as I can in the gym.
I'm beginning to feel that life is not worth living. I will be 30 in August and I have never had a proper relationship with a man because i've been in this weird relationship with food...
For example today I promised i would be good and eat normally but after a good start to the day things went down hill when i got to work. It was a packet of biscuits, not just one, four scones, two twix bars, a big bag of hairibos, sasuage rolls, toast with peanut butter (8 rounds), crisps....the list is longer but i feel shamed.
It is controlling my life and I want soooo much to get better but feel so out of control when I binge.
Can anyone offer any suggestions on how to control these binges? xx
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