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I ate so I won't be eating dinner tonight, Mom.


I'm only 18, but I've been throwing up for a very long time. I had it very bad in 8th grade and then got much better, but started back up three years ago purging more than ever before. I come home from school and it's just so easy. There's no one else home and I can eat my heart out. Then I can purge until there's nothing left without anyone hearing or knowing. Only a couple of my friends know I have a sort of problem, but that's all they think it is. They don't know how often I do it, or that I have restarted. I'm so scared because it always comes back. I can't help it. I'll go a month or so without purging at all, and then start up again for multiple months sometimes twice a day or more. I love how little and light I feel afterwards, but hate how puffy my whole face feels and how bogged down I get afterwards. It's so bad that once at my friends house I left early to come home and throw up instead of spending the night like I planned. I want to stop, but when the opportunity presents itself I always give in.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program