I am walking backwards, I am scared!!!
I share my story at this website before. Today I am writing you this because I really feel lost and don know what to do.
As I told before, I am a serious bulimic more than 10 years.I start my recovery since April,kept trying and trying but very very very hard.I have a super strong eat and binge urge.Last few months i manage to cut down my b/p from more than 10times a day to about 2times a day.Of course,i still b/p,not successful to make it bp free yet.
My b/p urge always happened in the afternoon about 3pm-5pm and also late night after dinner time.If i able to control until late night,only 2times b/p at late night,for me is happy enough.At least its a improvement.
But this month i feel terrible. My b/p increase to 4times a day.I cant control myself in the afternoon time.Sometimes after lunch i already have strong urge to b/p.Even i go for organic vegetarian lunch,so healthy...but why i still feel like b/p?
I feel very disappointed with myself...i feel lost...lately i always bp twice at noon and twice at late night...i feel so scared,but i cant control myself...I knew i must pushing forward,i must recover....but why am i walking backwards???
I need help, please....please...
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