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I am so ashamed of myself..

by Sandra

I have always since I can remember used food as a comfort, but the past few months my binges have intesified and I ate more food than anyone would think humanly possible! For example: 10 muffins, 5 packets of crisps, an entire cake, a tub of ice cream, 2 or 3 burgers, a whole plate of chips, several chocolate bars. Even things I dont even like, for example mars bars. I hate them but I will eat over 8 large ones in amongst a binge. I will eat virtually anything unhealthy. Even frozen foods that I can't wait to defrost, or food that has been lying on the side for hours. I feel disgusted with myself. And I'm not sick that often, or rarely straight after I eat, so I have gained about 7 kg over the past 3 months.

I feel like my main concern is losing the weight and although im desperate to recover, I just want to be back to my slim weight more than anything. but the harder I try to eat healthy and lose weight, the more I want to binge. Regardless of how desperately I want to lose this weight, I still binge and I cant understand why. I beat myself up so badly.

I just want to go back to when I wasn't constantly preoccupied by food and was able to eat without ever feeling the urge to binge. Alcohol is also a big problem, I even down my drinks, finding it impossible to sip them, therefore getting extremely drunk and always eat a lot of junk food afterwards and the next day. This never used to be a problem.

How can I regain my composure and self-control and lose the weight whilst losing these compulsive eating habits?? xx

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