I am an Asian Suffering / haunted by Bulimia
by Y.C Chiou
I have been an intense Bulimic for 10 years now to count. I tried getting help online, but it always failed. I stay in Malaysia (you may not know where is it) , and being Bulimic is an incredibly shameful sickness...
I am afraid of putting on weight, i always compare myself to others. and it is ,also, sadly this reason that i am Bulimic.
i want to be normal and be with my friends,I like to eat & hang out with my friends a lot. I want to enjoy food and don't gain weight like my friend. Sadly , in order to do all these, i became a bulimic.
My desperate measure to be normal , made me not normal. Haunted by Bulimia is crazy... i throw up minimal 2 times daily for the past 10 years..Some times even after 5-6 hours after meal because i want to wait until my friends and family sleep at all occasions before i start the vicious cycle of self-harm.Sadly,this year , in 2011... my teeth had been so severely worn out & damaged,that i am feeling the effects of tooth sensitivity almost daily. I dont dare to consult any dentist here in Malaysia, because deep within i am afraid..i know they will instantly crack my secret of 10 years with their professionalism. They will know i am a bulimic.
I wonder how come bulimia picture i see online, all of you have nice teeth, i wonder why.
I still cant escape from this monster...if i dont eat, i'll be very hungry ( my hearty appetite from these 10 years has expanded my stomache capacity) and i cant sleep, if i eat...i'll be so guilty, i cant sleep either.
i am so tired...