Hurdles I've overcome during my bulimia recovery
Well, I've done something the past few days I'd never thought I'd do: I said "no big deal" and I stood up for myself.
First of all - I gained a pound after losing a few. I know, I shouldn't be weighing myself - but I still do once a day. And yesterday I gained a pound. I thought to myself: How? I didn't change my eating habits, weigh myself about the same every day, so what gives? Then I said to myself: "Val, it's only a pound, weight fluctuates, you are doing great, feeling great, no big deal." Then, my day went on as usual, following my meal plan and not skipping any meals or snacks.
This is really significant to me because before recovery, I would have been in a tizzy - not eating the rest of the day and binging and purging at supper time and weighing myself a few more times that day to see if I lost that pound or maybe two.
Well, the next thing is fighting back with my husband. He's not in a good mood, and I can tell so over the phone. Then he gets mad at me for no reason IMO. And I'm feeling angry, hurt and stressed. Then we lose the phone signal. I'm fuming, my anxiety level going up, and pacing - but I don't start the binge.( Whenever this happened before (he's away alot) I would just take it in, clam up, and turn to food to relieve my anger and anxiety. So, when we talked about an hour later - I told him exactly what made me mad - he apologized, and things were right in the world again.
Shaye, this is so important for me to share because I can see how bulimia used to affect my thinking and personality. It really messed me up. I can see now how I am gaining strength and self-confidence, and speaking up for myself. What more can I say? The world is a much better place and I'm in a much better place.
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