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How To Overcome Bulimia: My Journey From hell to happiness

I had no idea how to overcome bulimia. I had suffered from this illness for most of my life - and as the years passed, I was more and more controlled by it.

I felt like a robot, programmed in a certain way - and unable to change.

My life was planned out for me... A never ending cycle of bingeing and purging, lying and stealing, pain and fear...

I had no choice...

Bulimia had won me over - and now I was forced to live by it's rules...

Or, so I thought...

 

"I realized that over the last 10 years bulimia had just taken, taken, Taken... It had given me nothing."

When I reached 20 years old something changed inside my head... I decided that no matter what it took - there was no way in hell that I was going to live with bulimia for the rest of my life... What sort of existence would that be?

I wanted a career, marriage, children and abundant happiness... I could not have those things and bulimia...

Bulimia had given me no happiness, no self-esteem, no health, no love... Nothing.

It had no part in my life and I wanted it gone more than ever before...

But, I had a problem...

- I had no idea how to stop bingeing

- I had no idea how to digest food

- I had no idea how to eat 'normally'

- I had absolutely no idea how to beat bulimia!

and, I didn't know where to start...

 

My Journey: Discovering How To Overcome Bulimia

To help give me guidance in learning how to overcome bulimia I decided to visit a counselor. Her name was Amanda.

Amanda was the very first person I had ever spoken to about my bulimia... and, it was terrifying.

I remember sitting outside her office... Sweat was running from my armpits down to the tip of my elbow - and dripping onto the sofa below. My hands were shaking and my teeth jittering. I was so tempted to run away... I was tempted to run back to denial and pretend I was in control - to pretend that I could always recover tomorrow - if I wanted to... (Yea rite)

But I knew I had to stay... I knew that I had no idea how to overcome bulimia on my own... I knew I needed help.

It was a matter of life and death and I owed this to myself...

I decided to spare Amanda the worst of the details...

I told her I threw up 5 times a day - instead of the more realistic 15+... I didn't tell her that I stole and lied to enable my bulimia and I didn't tell her that before our morning session I'd already thrown up 4 times.

But, the fact was I had told her that Shaye, the strong, confident and bubbly individual was living a lie... I was bulimic - and it ruled every moment of my life.

I walked out of Amanda's office an hour later feeling a sense of freedom that I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt that finally, my existence wasn't a complete act... Somebody knew about my bulimia - and they didn't hate me for it!

I continued to see Amanda for 1 year... During this time she guided me on many techniques to help transform my low self esteem into a positive and accepting one.

But, there was still so much more to learn...

 

Learning How To Eat Again, Digest Again and End Binge Urges Once And For All...

Amanda was amazing... But, a therapist or doctor can only teach you so much. They have never suffered from this illness and so can't teach you the nitty gritty of how to overcome bulimia...

I had to figure that out for myself... I had to learn how to:

Trust my body to digest food...

Get my sluggish metabolism working again...

Overcome the intensive bloating and wind...

And, end those infamous binge urges once and for all...

These issues caused difficult, uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing obstacles that I had to overcome. It wasn't easy, but I was determined.

I wanted that beautiful life which I could see in the distance. I wanted health, happiness, love and peace... I wanted it all!

So, I continued paving my road of recovery... Learning how to overcome bulimia - one obstacle at a time...

I walked in baby steps - but I knew, that even baby steps would get me to my destination if I was persistent. Any movement forward, in the right direction was closer to full recovery from bulimia.

In time, I got my stomach working again... I could eat bread, pizza and pasta without feeling like I was going to explode.

I started going to the toilet consistently every morning, as my metabolism began to kick back into action...

After 1 month binge purge free, my bloating and embarrassing gas began to go away...

And finally, I could eat my meals and snacks without feeling the urge to eat more, more and more.

I was scared to say it... In case I jinxed it... But, I was beginning to feel free!

 

Never Looking Back...

It was 1 year after my first appointment with Amanda that I graduated from university.

I remember my classmates feeling ecstatic that they could now go out into the real world and get jobs, earn money and be free!

I was ecstatic for another reason...

Not because I was free from university...

But, because I had learnt how to overcome bulimia. I was 100% recovered.

how to overcome bulimia
Now, life is full of so much joy!

Everywhere I walked I would see happiness, smiles and vibrant color. I would smell beautiful smells, hear beautiful sounds and think beautiful thoughts.

Gone was the negativity and gray of bulimia.

I had woken up from a nightmare into a life more vibrant than I had ever imagined possible.

Still, to this day I am amazed at how beautiful it is!

 

 

 

Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program