How my life courages my bulimia
I was always a quiet calm child. Who needed nothing but calm corner to sit there and watch out or think about something or play with things that I was given(I've never asked for anything, it continues to nowadays). And I didn't like eating. And my parents turned on cartoon(it has a very lovely soundtrack i love it so much) and gave me chocolates or cookies with chocolate cause I didn't eat anything else. So to the age of 12 I became very plump cause I ate a lot of choco and sugar. My parents still restrict my communication with other people, they make me to sit at home every time when I am not at university, school or work. And I have no rights to go somewhere else. This days I have a little permission to get out but only not far from home and in the afternoon and only with girls. So I become a withdrawn , introvert person who had no close friends, no hobby but made a very success at school then at university. I participated in olympiaeds and un mostly cases won them. Cause I had nothing else to do. And I love sports very much. For sports(which can I do in close area, at home or with parents) a had no restrictions. But then I got bored with all this. And began to break rules but did it secretly. I had boyfriends, began smoking. For that period I was fat. Really fat. And one moment when my parents decided fo feed me up once again I decided for myself to began strvation. That period I get from Xkilos to X. I was very weak. At this point my bulimia started. When I had eaten something my weight increased, so I began vomiting. For the beginning I didnt understand what goes on. I thought that it will be only 1-2 times. But then it get into habit. I came home cause I was not allowed to go anywhere else ate everything that I saw and vommited. Now I doing the same way because nothing changed. I'm very fearful to tell my parents anything and tired doing everything in secret but my bulimia is growing and growing. And now I'm between two fires not knowing what to do. Of course I have close friend, hobbies, career growing but theres some emptines. My bulimia filling this emptines.
Now I find this site and very grateful for its creation. I think we all together can escape this illness. Thank you!
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