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Hopeless

by Jess

For three years, I suffered from anorexia. I recovered physically, but never emotionally. For the past year, I've been constantly battling binge eating.

On a binge day, I'll eat X - X calories... ice cream, cookies, peanut butter - whatever I can get my hands on. I'll steal food from my roommates and eat until I'm sick. Then I crawl into bed and want to disappear.

I'm a senior in college; binge eating has destroyed a huge part of my senior year. Instead of going out with friends, I would stay home to binge. Or, if we did go out, I would be constantly thinking of food.

I've struggled with depression for many years. Binge eating makes it even worse. I feel disappointed in myself and disgusted by my body and the weight I've gained.

Most of all, I feel hopeless.

I have tried to fix this so many times. I eat sensibly and exercise. I've seen a counselor (who didn't help). I've tried to talk to friends. And yet I keep binge eating; I keep gaining weight.

I feel so helpless and so lost.

Is there an end?

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program