Hopefully the begining of the end....
I feel so awkward writing this! My boyfriend would certainly think I've gone crazy if I tell him I am writing about my story in some forum I found online. If it could somehow help, I am all for it! I've been overeating/restricting for 14+ years. It started as a way to cope with a crazy and overwhelming event that happened at the time! However, my eating/restricting just no longer serves me! I don't obsess nearly as much as I used to about weight and looks so my eating cannot possibly be a direct result of feeling negative about weight/self-image. There is so much in my life to be grateful for from where I live to my wonderful career, yet this eating this needs to get thrown to out to sea! Only recently have I been much more aware of any self-defeating thoughts, and I've been very aggressive about changing them the minute I catch one. It has worked, too! My weight is no longer the focal point of my life and I've been really living. So why is the eating disorder not getting any better? I guess what I am saying is that I have so much to be grateful for and life is pretty good, but I feel like this eating thing just is not going away for some reason and it is bugging me! I know that I will eventually stop because I will not give up no matter how many times I fall, but I am at a point where I am just getting so annoyed with the binging. I no longer feel so depressed around the binging. I feel really annoyed like it is time to really quit this s***! Grrrr
Anyways, this is a great resource and maybe I will find my secret somewhere within these pages. Although the secret might be that there is no secret.
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