Hope in NOW
My name is Thomas. I am bulimic. I was abused at a young age, chubby as a child, and at age 15 started dieting. I was healthy for a short time, and as school continued, so did my exercise and dysfunctional behaviors. Eventually I was abusing diet pills, binging and purging, and engaging in all sorts of horrific addictive behaviors. I was drinking and using drugs to numb my depression and self-hatred. I ended so emaciated and sick, I was hospitalized multiple times and came close to death. Now, it has been years of struggling, however, I finally faced the devil one day and trudged through a work-out with my Higher Power. I eat healthy and feel good about myself. All the tools from treatment came in really handy once I was ready. Self-control feels out of control sometimes, and being kind to Thomas is difficult, however, my Higher Power has taught me how to nurture His Temple and listening to the inner voice of love and Fathering my inner child all help in my recovery. I still purge at times, however, it is important I get on track and evaluate what is really going on in my emotional well being and perceptions. Stress is a big trigger.
Someday, I will be healed completely I hope, but in this moment, I can try my hardest and accept my mistakes, as I have faith in now.
May you meet the person inside who loves and nurtures your life. Peace.
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