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Hope for all!!

by christi

I am 38 years old, married and four children! I have experienced all of these feelings, and have had the days of puking 30 plus times without anyone ever knowing!! I am recovering now, and have been for 13 years, but just tonight...... I took my children to our best local mexican place and those chips and salsa, stuffed me! I know, and I truly avoid feeling uncomfortably full. Because I know this triggers 5 minutes to 2 hours of talking myself out of puking! The good news is that 13 years ago I could not talk myself out of it ever!!! Tonight, upon returning home, my first instinct was to get my kids in bed fast, and do the nasty deed! BUT! instead, I texted my husband who is out of town on business, and told him I was really wanting to puke! Then, I asked him to pray for me! Then I laid down with my beautiful princesses and spent time reading the Bible with them and telling them how much I loved them! Then I texted another prayer warrior friend whom I have only known 2 months, and I shared with her what I was struggling with! I apologized for too much info and being so real! She was thankful I was real! and my husband responded God is good all the time! go take a nice bath and relax!

It was so helpful to let others know and to be real, and to talk and pray through it! I sit here now, telling you! I did not puke!! yay! and even though I was only a little uncomfortable, the trigger is just as huge!!

It really helps me not trigger it, by just stopping when I am content! Knowing how not fun it is to deal with that for an hour or two, is enough these days to slow me down!

I also have controls set in my life to not get obsessed about exercise and dieting. I have an amazing 45 minute workout I do 4 days aweek, and I do not let myself exercise more than that on those days. If I choose to take a walk or hike other days with my family or friends, great, but if not, those 4 classes are enough! I do not want to be obsessed with exercise. Health is 80% what we eat. So I make sure and get my healthy protein, whole foods, fruits and vegetables, and whatever healthy carbs I desire after that. I also take ground flax seed every day to ensure I get the omega 3s. I treat my life as a plan for health, and I want to fuel my machine, not have a starving, malnutritioned body! I have found XXXXXX to be the healthiest program, but even that makes me obsessed, so I take their healthy guidelines and incorporate them into my daily life. I do not beat myself up for eating a sleeve of girlscout cookies. I say move on. Balance and grace!!!!! remember, our value does not come from our size or looks it comes from our heart and personality! I hope this helps!!! does anyone know why a full gut triggers it? this late in the game. I call it my thorn in my side, but it keeps me in check! does anyone else still deal with this even though recovering/well!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program