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Hi, I'm Lindsay and I am bulimic!

by lindsay

Wow. I finally said it. I am 32, married, a registered nurse with a great life and ample education to "know better". I have been bulimic for 18 years! I have a ton of health problems as a result of bulimia, yet I make excuses and continue the behavior. My husband is also in addiction recovery. It was his recovery that inspired me to finally admit my bulimia for the first time in my life. I have not yet had the courage to go to any group therapy or admit bulimia to anyone but my husband. I have dreamed of saying "hi, I am Lindsay and I am bulimic" since I have opened up to my husband. It truly was a turning point for our relationship. I encourage anyone else to do the same. TRUST that person to love and accept you for who you really are. There is no need to pretend! No one is perfect so lets stop expecting perfection! The health risks and implications are not worth any of this. I myself am tired of trying to fix everything that has been a result of bulimia. My teeth are disgusting, my throat hurts constantly, I am fearful to know if I have esophageal complications, I have multiple deficiencies, I have ineffective digestion to the point that almost any food makes my stomach hurt and it demanding on my digestive system, I have developed extensive and extreme food allergies, I have electrolyte imbalance side effects like head aches, fatigue, mood swings, poor sleep, confusion, etc, I have terrible eye circles and poor skin, very slow hair growth, and i have not had a period in over 3 years. I worry that i am now infertile. I have hormonal imbalances that cause multiple issues as well. I hate that I lie to people and portray a self that is not my true self. I am finally venting. I am so sick and tired of doing the same thing that is actually harmful and makes me age and literally deteriorate. I stumbled upon this website randomly and I am so happy that I did. I am sick of making excuses that its not that bad. I am sick of protecting bulimia and keeping it in my life. I am bulimic to feel like I have control, BUT for 18 years I have given bulimia the control. It is time to let go of bulimia. I want to say goodbye to bulimia forever. If that means weight gain, different emotional outlets and coping; then so be it! I want to feel free from the stresses and burdens that bulimia brings. Good luck to all who struggle as I do. I hope you read these letters as I just did and feel inspired to live freely as well.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program