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here we go again. i know i can recover....why am i so unmotivated?

by Jina


Does bulimia really have effect on your memory? it's really sad to see myself not remembering small memories I had with my boyfriend like a week ago....

I've been bulimic for 4years... it was the pick-point like 5 months ago so I moved out of the country to get better help and counseling for this. The people who needs to know know about me and I'm really thankful for that...

But, the thing again is....I can't stop... puking.... it was hard at first... but so easy... like what you used to be Shaye...I eat a bit more than what girls usually eat... but I puke it up and re-eat it until it goes nasty...and we have a lock to the kitchen so whenever I feel bad cravings inside me...I binge outside and do the same thing...I feel like a's done by just squeezing your belly.. I'm 5'4 and Xkgs...and my boobs are so flat! Yes, I's due to not receiving what I need...

I told my boy friend since I trust him and we love each other...but like every other male I've talked to (including my dad) say just eat alot and don't throw up. Just exercise... Gosh... I felt quite pitiful that I was asking encouragement and advice to men who don't have a clue about bulimia...

And yes, of course my teeth are turning yellow and I'm getting small holes in my teeth...At first, I thought it to be an improvement since I stopped wasting a lot of money... but heck no! What can I and should I do?

Shaye Says

Hi Jina,

Yip, bulimia does effect your memory... I have very few solid memories from the years when my bulimia was at it's worst... There are 2 reasons (I believe) for the bad memory...

1) Is poor nutrition... The brain needs specific things to create neural pathways and build memories... If it is short on these nutrients then the memory is jeopardized...

2) Even more of an influence, I believe, is the mental energy and space that bulimia takes up... It just doesn't leave much space for anything else! My mind was constantly elsewhere when I was bulimic... No matter what I was doing, I was planning my next binge, or how I could get away to purge. I simply wasn't experiencing life the way somebody with a clear mind would.

On another note...

Is you main problem not bingeing, but the regurgitating and re-eating?

Do you mean you thought re-eating was a good idea to save money - instead of bingeing?

I didn't really understand those points... if you clarify that point, I'll try to offer what advice I can.

I used to re-eat all the time... and I know, it's awful - and a hard habit to kick... but, I promise you it's possible.

Bye for now!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program