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Here Goes Nothing - The Start of Justins Bulimia Recovery

by Justin
(United States)

My story starts off in high school, 3 years ago. Right now I am a freshman in college, about to wrap up my first year. During this span of time, I have been bulimic.

In high school sophomore year I was on the wrestling team, a little chubby, possibly over weight. I got made fun of a lot by my fellow wrestler friends joking around, calling me fat and what not. That is when it started. I began to throw up after meals...

Over the next year it really started to escalate more and more. However with the results I was getting I figured why would I stop. It began to become a huge problem in my senior year. I was wrestling at 130lbs and was 5 foot 9 inches. My parents started to get really worried, and ultimately found out. With my mood swings however, I told them to swear to me that they would not tell anyone. I also promised them I would get over it on my own and that I didn't need help. Biggest mistake of my life...

After wrestling, and senior year, I figured I would just get over this eating disorder before I went off to college. I told myself there was no way I was going to college with an eating disorder. I figured if i did, there would be no way of me to make friends...

The summer went by, and I was still bulimic. At this point I was lying to my parents, saying I was fine, and that I'd gotten over it. They were happy for me, but I was not. I knew deep down inside I did not deserve this sense of praise. To make matters worse, I got a girlfriend at the end of senior year. We have been together for a year now and I have still not told her...

There have been times where I would kick her out at night just so I could binge and purge. I almost threw away our whole relationship because of this and because of my mood swings.

I hated myself for this, and started to become depressed. We would fight constantly until one day, I decided I needed to change... I do love this girl with all my heart, and this is one of the reasons I want to change, to be with her...

As I sat on my couch in my dorm room today, I came across Shaye's site. It really helped me, and I quickly downloaded her e-book. Im excited to start, but kind of worried because I do not want to go back to my old ways. Just today I made a run to walgreens to get food to binge and purge too. I really hope I can do this.

Shaye, I just want to thank you. Your site really kick started me on my road to recovery. With your personal experiences, and e-book, I really learned a lot. A big thing I think is not only the personal experiences, but that this web site is open to everyone, and I thank you so much for that.

I just want to let whoever is reading this know that I have never shared my story with anyone in its entirety. The only people that know I am bulimic are my mom and dad, but I know this is the first step to recovery. Wish me luck!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program