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help! I'm scared

by Emma

Hi I'm gonna say my name is Emma, it isn't, but I have a rather unique name and I would rather no one I know finds this! I'm 18 years of age.

over the last few weeks I have been making my self throw up when I over eat. I over eat quite regularly, but apart from once or twice in the last few years, I haven't really done this before!

I kind of keep thinking that it's not that bad and it wont be a problem as long as I keep it under control, but I'm not sure that I really can control myself with this.

I am worried about my weight, though I'm aware that that is probably not the root of the problem. my mum is a councillor and she is always going on about the root causes of things like this. but her being a councillor actually makes it harder to talk to her, because she always jumps in on the emotions, even when that's the last thing I want to think about.

I am a gymnast and I think that could be an added pressure weight wise, when your tumbling you can feel every pound of weight holding you down to the floor, and you can feel it when you land on your hands and then on your feet over and over and over again. I'm surrounded by younger children with next to no fat, no breasts and no hips! I would give just about anything to go back to looking like that.

I'm sorry if this is kind of rambling, but I needed to say it all. most of all, I just want to ask for any advise


Shaye Says

Hi there 'Emma' :)

I know the pressures sports can put on your to be thin... I was a springboard diver for many years - and I do think this contributed towards me getting stuck in the world of dieting - which led onto bulimia...

What I'd like to say is I promise you - that no sport in the world is worth your health - and is worth the years (even decades) that bulimia can steal from you...

Please, talk to your mom about it... Even ask her to arrange help with somebody else as it's difficult to fully open up to her as she's your mom... She is a counsellor - and will understand this.

You have so much life ahead of you - so many beautiful years with and beyond gymnastics... Taking action and getting help now will make sure you still enjoy them :)


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Article by Shaye Boddington
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and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program