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Hell of my life beginning to leave

by Naz
(Leicester)

I was only 15 when it all started at school. I used to get picked on all the time about my weight being called shrek and other really nasty remarks on how i looked. It then came to a point where i really wanted to do something about it because i couldn't handle the torture. I started doing vigorous exercise and would most if the time starve myself eating as little as 4 toasts throughout the day. I didn't think i was doing any harm and seen such big results. This way i kept building up my confident and started to get people telling me that iv lost weight not knowing i was becoming weaker and weaker. There then came a point where i had to start another way to lose it all and i heard someone talking about how u can be sick and take everything you eat out so that's where this disgusting habit started. I used to physically make my self sick a couple of times and then became a addiction. It was so bad that i then didn't even have to do anything and i could just bring it up by leaning towards and toilet. Because it was so easy for me to do this, i used to use that as an advantage to do it after every fatty meal i had.. This carried on for years. Even though i was happy with myself i also used to feel guilty And bad about myself whem i used to think about it and research on it. I wanted to become normal and not want to worry about the way i looked. I became so thin that my mum used to tell me you look ill seeing u this thin. My whole family knew about my bulimia but i reassured them that iv recovered when really i was still the same. I used to sleep every night thinking i wont vomit tomorrow and eat healthy food that i can keep inside but there comes next morning and all the thought and brief goals go down the drain. Every meal was going in and coming straight back up. I couldn't control myself. There's been times where iv gone a couple of days without being sick but then it becomes a desperation to eat nice comfort food and then as usual take it put. I have a toot pulled out because of the acid which ruined it and now after looking at this site about you and how you overcame bulimia i feel like if you can do it then so can i and anyone who suffers. This is my 3rd day eating and not being sick and i really do hope this time it really works. Not easy but i'd rather be healthy then be ill in any way. So there's my story!

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program