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Go Lean - A Bulimia Story

I really don't know why I binge eat. I know that there is an emotional factor to it. That's quite obvious.

I wouldn't label myself "bulimic" but who really would right?

Last year I broke up with my boyfriend. I felt free. Absolutely free. Liberated. I no longer had to hide my attraction towards others nor did I have to feel guilty about it.

Truth is I loved my boyfriend, but not as much as I thought I did. Today I'm with him once again.

If I were to trace the appearance of my bulimia I would say it was in February of 2010; around the time I started speaking to my ex once again. I'm not attempting to pin my bulimia on him, nor do I want to blame it on him, but I think the relationship I have with him is a major part of why I fall back into bulimia. I stress when I talk to him, yet I love him. My sister in law told me not too long ago that sometimes you have to let someone go if you love them too much. It sounded very cliche and made no sense to me, but now I'm realizing that this is what I might have to do if I want to be healthy again.

I'll be leaving to Spain in January and would like to start fresh there. I don't want to have ties among my body. I don't want to feel as if I have no control of myself. I AM the only one in control of what I do.

I binge on cereal. It may say healthy on the box, but I now I go overboard.

Today I've eaten the following:

one serving of go lean cereal with low fat soy milk
80 calories of yogurt with granola
2 oranges
pasta with mushroom and sausage for dinner
3 crackers
cereal bar

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program