Getting there in bulimia recovery
So 5 days ago I discovered this site and decided to post my story "Bulimia: my worst enemy". In these 5 days I have not binged nor have I purged and already I can feel all the good that is coming from a bulimia-free life. I'm a lot happier, I have a lot more energy and I have even lost some weight (I'm figuring this is because the calories consumed in my binges were a lot higher than what I eat when I am eating normal portions)
This said, I still got the urge to binge both yesterday and today. But instead of doing it, I have followed Shaye's "10 step recovery"-thing especially the one where you have to Stop and think before binging, it has made me realize that I don't binge because I am hungry, but either because I am upset, bored or just because my brain is telling me to do so. Both today and yesterday when it happened I just got as far away from the kitchen as possible, and started writing down all the things I was feeling at that exact moment, which actually helped a lot, and then I read Shaye's ebook again (must have read it like 10 times already). Whenever I read it, it's like my goal becomes more clear and binging all of a sudden doesn't seem that important.
I also had a talk with my mom where I told her why I think that I developed Bulimia, so after a lot of crying and hugging we have now decided to get away for 4-5 day, just the two of us, like on a mother-daughter trip. I'm really excited about this and I think it's both a great opportunity to bond with my mom even more but also to clear my head (I'm trying to convince her that we should go to Athens :)). But since I'm in college, and we are having finals coming up in a couple of months, I hope that I will be able to find the time.. (:
Today, for the first time in what seems like forever, I have actually done all of my assignments for all of my classes. I finished two papers, and I could concentrate on them without having to think about when my next binge was going to be, which was great!
Oh and yesterday I was in class when one of my fellow students asked if she could borrow my computer because her internet wasn't working, I gave it to her but had completely forgotten that I had been on this website, so when she open the internet this site popped up, of course she asked why I was reading about bulimia I (in my mind I was freaking out and assuming that she would figure out that I was bulimic and then tell everyone!) I told her some BS story about how I had been surfing the internet and accidentally had stumbled across this site but had forgotten to click away from it, and instead read some of the stories. Luckily she bought the story, especially because she is not one that I would want to know about this. She is the type that if she knew, she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. I actually don't know if it would be smart to tell any of my friends, I have thought about doing it, but at the same time, what if they don't understand? What if they'll start treating me differently?
Well, this was just a little update on how everything is going and once again thanks Shaye for this wonderful site :)
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