I am 24 years old and have been bulimic for ten years now. My life was good untill I moved to the US as a twelve year old. because of not knowing the english language I was bullied for 1 1/2 year, then my family moved back to my home country. I was completly broken, no selfesteem and believed noone liked me or respected me.the truth was that I didnt respect myself anymore. I became obsessed with being thin, I thought others would respect me if had a great figure. i went on diets and eventually discovered purging. my life went crashing down the next ten years. it got worse and worse with time. as a 21 year old i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. this was the turning point. i wanted help with both illnesses.
i have recoveded some,I havent purged for 5 months but am still binge eating.I am looking forward to the future. I think I finally will get fully recovered. This might sound stupid to some people, but I want to give Jesus the honor of restoring me. he is gently and slowly building me up an making me stronger. I am thankfull that these last ten years have given me deepth, a deeper appriciation of life and compassion and understanding for other people who are fighting their way through hard and troubling times.
I have never had a boyfriend. I have developed a fear for men and i dont know why. I guess im afraid of getting hurt and rejected.and unconciously I think my inner voice is telling me that i am grose and disgusting and nobody would want to touch me because of my bulimia and my inperfect body. My inner voice is telling me that I have to be perfect before I let anybody into my life. I have spent half of my life in lonliness because of my eating disorder. When my bulimia takes over i become a different person, I would want my boyfriend to meet the real recovered me when i first meet him.
Thank you for this amazing website Shaye
This will bless so many people world wide. fantastic!
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