Your bulimia recovery
Tap here to read more about the bulimia recovery program

My online program and private recovery community has helped hundreds of women beat bulimia.
Click here to learn more

Beat bulimia using my online recovery program and private community. Hundreds of women who were just like you have done the same!

Click here to learn more Member Login

from fat to bulimic to fat

by Jen
(Nebraska USA)

I need help. Starting about 12 I became fat. I remember not being unhappy just fat. All through high school I was overweight and fine with it, had friends but never boyfriends.

I graduated high school right at 240 pounds. When I went off to college I met a guy. I adored him from the moment I met. We were so alike and quickly became best friends. I wanted him to be my boyfriend so much. We moved in together (still just friends) during the first couple months I would constantly hear him talking about hot girls...

That's when it hit me. I was fat disgusting and no one would want me this way. I felt like I was perfect for him we were best friends but my weight was why he wouldn't be with me. So after eating pizza hut one day and feeling worthless I went in the bathroom and puked. It was an amazing feeling when I was done. I felt good. So from then on I was throwing up. I threw up everything I ate. I would not eat for about two days and then eat and eat and puke and puke.

The boy never became a boyfriend, but we did start hooking up. He moved out 2 years later and I rarely spoke to him after he got a girlfriend. I was very heart broken, never got over not being good enough. I am 5'6 and got down to X pounds which sounds heavy but starting at X loosing that much in less than 2 years was drastic. Everyone noticed and complimented me! No one ever guessed bulimia because hey I was still a little big!

In the next year I met the man I am married to now. It was strange when we moved in together I stopped throwing up. I just stopped. I refuse to ever let him know and he doesn't. However that was 5 year ago. Now I sit here recovered from bulimia but X pounds. I am always hungry always. I still binge eat but don't purge. I buy food and hide it. I take out credit cards without my husband knowing so I can buy fast food without him knowing multiple times a day. I am always tempted to go back to bulimia. I was happy thinner I could walk and wear clothes, but I won't because I have a child now. I just need help. I still live with the not good enough worthless feeling everyday because I am fat.

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.



Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program