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Fit or fat

by Tiffany
(colorado )

I came across this web site today and read some of the stories (blogs) on here.... So this is my story....

Like any other problem in life, childhood is where it started... My father was a drug user so he was out sniffing something or using women for his next fix... My mom was a hard working women and did the best she new... Excuse me if this writing is not proper....but...

I have always been the fat kid since I could remember coming home from school crying almost everyday.... Fat Ass, Your so fat , ugly fat girl and that is not half of what I remember...

I Started throwing up around 13 I was..... I was X and dropped down to X... I would go days with out eating then I would eat so much then feel fat after and throw it right back up..... this cycle kept happening over and over.... I would gain weight the get thin back and forth my weight.... I met my father at the age 16... the first thing he said to me was how fat I was.... Little did I know at the time he was a bulimic case as well.....

When I dont eat all day I feel like I win.... control over me I guess.... When I throw up.... I feel like I am getting the fat out of me guilt free.... when I look in the mirror I see only fat-ness....

I Feel like no one could ever love me as long as I am fat....I mean my own father did not want me.... I have to get the food out of my body.... working out is amazing makes me feel beautiful after I am done.... maybe if I were thin my father would of loved me....

Shaye Says



Hi Tiffany,

I am sorry for all that you have been through in your life. Please though gorgeous girl - do not blame yourself for your fathers mistakes. He must be a lost and confused man - you don't have to turn out in the same way.

Is there somebody you can talk to about your feelings? A therapist perhaps? Working through your childhood trauma will help you overcome bulimia... And once you've made peace with food, you'll settle at a weight that is natural and healthy for you.

Take care and remember - you deserve all the help you need to get well and find happiness.

Love
Shaye

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program