First Day 7 Times - Shaye's Bulimia Poem
First day brings a new.
Doubt spirals in my heart.
First day sunrise hope
Is questioned from the start.
By the time is half,
I long for first day more...
Only 3 more sunsets,
Shall I fight this mad-man's war.
First Day comes again.
Again I set my guard.
Reverberating constant doubt,
again inside my heart.
Deep within cries evermore
for first day seven times
waiting, doubted, eager eyed
for the decipher to my rhymes...
I wrote this poem when I was 18. It's about my constant attempts to beat bulimia...
Every Monday I'd tell myself "This is it, I'm not going to binge or purge this week" But that goal is questioned right from the start - deep down, I know that the urges are too strong.
On Monday I do well, but I don't make it to Tuesday without binging or purging...
By the time Wednesday has come, I have fallen completely back into bulimia. I am longing for Monday again, so that I can give beating this thing another shot...
But, this cycle continues over and over again...
I long to have Monday's strength and will repeat itself for 7 days - maybe that way i could go a whole week without binging and purging?
All the while I am growing more and more desperate for somebody to figure out the meaning of my poems and get me help...
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