First Big Step....Hopefully!!
Hi my name is Eimear and I've been bulimic for a few months now. I'm 22 and I don't know who I am anymore. I can't really pinpoint the exact reason why I started binging and purging. I was always overweight and when I entered uni I was at my heaviest but I was coming out of my shell. I met my boyfriend then when he was on exchange (he's Japanese). We were a year apart and I started a huge health/fitness regime; restrictive/calorie-control diet and I loved my morning gym time! I lost Xlbs and headed to Japan for my exchange year. But there I faced severe isolation because of my diet; I felt that I couldn't go to meetings at night and I didn't have any friends apart from my landlord's family(Irish-Japanese) and my boyfriend.I started binging and purging maybe twice a month in Japan. When I came home it got worse.My classmate made friends in Japan and their language levels were better than mine. I felt stupid for the first time and switched courses despite my lecturer saying I was ok and just needed a bit more revision. Since August I've on-and-off days of binging/purging (particularly when I'm at my family home) and I think I've depression; I think about my mortality and how it's all going to end. I cry all the time and I'm scared that I've damaged my health now too. I'm in my final year of uni with no plans at all....I'm lost but I want to get better and find myself again. I've only told my mam but I feel I'm breaking her heart....I just want to be able to eat, exercise, learn and laugh like I use to. I want to believe again and hopefully this message will be my first real step to recovery.
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.