Fell off the wagon and back again
I don't know if u remember me for early this year. Having bulimia for 25+ years and was B/P free finally for 2 months. I was doing so well!! I really don't know why I started it up again in April, maybe I was having a bad day and I thought well, just once I'll purge. So that graduated back to me doing it once or twice an evening on most days.
I felt like a failure, I didn't log into your site for months (well the whole time I was back to my old habits). I felt ashamed of course.
I wasn't going to admit on here that I did this, but I felt it was important to others as well because I am not alone in this and I am not perfect.
A week ago, I just went back on my routine of writing down my meal plans every morning and sticking to them and haven't B/P at all since then. I visit your site now - it's kinda like therapy I guess! I have tears in my eyes as I type this. It's alot easier now than back in February when I first recovered. Actually - REALLY easy - I have no urge to binge.
I know that no 2 bulimics are alike. I don't know why this time recovery is so easy for me as opposed from back in February - maybe I know that it is possible to put bulimia behind me because I had in the past. Maybe because I've learned from and grown from my experience in the past year. Maybe I have faith in structured meal plans and willpower. Maybe I have faith in myself and because I've just become honest with myself and I just don't want to do this bulimia habit anymore.
Thanks for listening.
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